Oops

It's been alittle over 2 months since my last post and no real reason as to why I haven't except that I've been with the person who alot of the times leaves me speechless and mind blown.  I started this as an outlet for my feelings and sometimes other things.  I was so used to being numb that feeling again is like a whole new experience.  I am still numb in other areas of my life but I am slowly opening myself up to dealing and releasing. I have a long way to go still but I am trying, I am starting to see things differently again.  I am so scared of what lies ahead because I feel like I have nothing yet everything.  In other parts of my life its still baby steps, but in a part of my life that I hold so dear to me its nothing short of amazing.  I wish I had all my pieces together and didn't feel so scattered or like such a failure but those are my demons.
JLR is something special, something that makes me feel, something that feels so right.  She's my true other half.  I think of her all the time, I think of our future together and the things I want to share and do with her, for her.  I have loved, I have been hurt and I am gaurded but with her it's like all the relationships or experiences I have gone through led me to exactly where I am supposed to be.....
with her!  I can't even express what I want in words, I am sitting here and I have this goofy huge smile on my face, listening to some of our songs, thinking of our times together and the memories we are creating together.  She fits in my arms like she was made for them,  she is just absolutely PERFECT. I want for nothing but her!  I am so in love with you JJ, forever I am yours if you will have me!