committed

I was informed that it's been over 2 months since I have written.  I honestly didn't even check because I am well aware its been awhile.  Its not like I haven't thought about doing it, I just haven't felt like I have had anything to really say.  I'm still so trapped in my head as it goes round and round.  It actually can make me at a loss for words.  So jumbled.  I do make sure that I tell my other half what she means to me and hopefully show it to her.  I am far from perfect and seem to really lack commitment with certain things.  I miss having the drive I used to but I have to accept that I am now in a different place and different time in my life and let go of what was and create the new. 
I am looking forward to the new, I just have to start believing in myself again.  She helps me in more ways than she will ever know.  She puts up with my "everything".  I am afraid that its going to drain her or she will feel that I don't have motivation or I'm boring etc.  She sees something that I don't but maybe, just maybe it will start to rub off on me and stick.  I'm taking those super tiny baby steps but it's been a rough ride and still is.  Progress has been slow and I have my good days and bad days still but each day she lights my path a bit more.  I am committed to you in every way, just bare with me if I don't "blog" often etc.  It doesn't mean I don't care, It's my own personal demons.
I Love You JLR.